We all win when we treat each other with dignity

By Steve Cichon
steve@buffalostories.com
@stevebuffalo

Either side saying, “But you did it to US for eight years!” =
“BUT MOM, he did it FIRST!” =
Your mom sending you both to your room until you can both stop acting like five-year-olds throwing temper tantrums.

“I’m mad because you did a shitty thing to me… so, because I’m mad, I am going to do the same admittedly shitty thing back to you” is divisive thinking and does nothing to make our country that better place. Being smart and decent means finding some way other than a shitty way. It’s exactly what your mom taught you as a child.

If you want to be angry and shitty it’s your right– but from my vantage point, you  have to wallow to get there. You lose the moral high ground and you lose an opportunity to use your intelligence, decency, tact, and resilience to make your part of the world a better place.

My wish is that more people from both sides would turn the passion they waste in hatred into passion for something that benefits us all– like together finding someway out of the morass we are embroiled in– because together is the only way. 

I’m not saying “stop disagreeing,” I’m saying just do something to help effect the change you want to see in the world.

Fighting with people on Facebook really doesn’t count.

Understand– I’m not talking about dismissing anyone’s worries and fears.

What I’m talking about is using words and ideas which allow us all to be better able to embrace everyone’s worries and fears.

It’s about how a large number of people are allowing those fears and worries to manifest themselves.

My point is hearing about Donald Trump’s penis size and skin color is no better than talking about Barack Obama’s birth certificate and skin color, or vice versa.

Telling me you hate Donald Trump or you hate Barack Obama (or hate what they stand for) is a call to derision and a conversation ender.

Telling me you’re afraid that you might not have insurance or that your right to marry who you want might be taken away… or telling me you’re concerned with our porous borders or reductions in defense capabilities– those are places where conversations can begin and as Americans we might be able to find common ground among ourselves, whether our leaders suck or not.

Fighting crass and rude with crass and rude is still crass and rude. Protesting doesn’t have to be crass and rude. Disagreeing with people doesn’t have to be crass and rude.

The world needs love, not hate. Find it and spread it.

“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?”

He said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment.

“The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

“The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”

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Steve Cichon

Steve Cichon is a proud Buffalonian helping the world experience the city he loves. The operator of Buffalo Stories Tours writes about the people, places, and ideas that make Buffalo special at blog.buffalostories.com and daily at buffalonews.com/history. The storyteller and historian has written six books, worn bow ties since the 80s, and spent 20 years working in Buffalo radio and TV, climbing his way to news director at WBEN Radio. Since then, he's been an adjunct professor and produced PBS documentaries. Steve's Buffalo roots run deep: all eight of his great-grandparents called Buffalo home, with his first ancestors arriving here in 1827.